A little story about my Instagram handle....
After I wrote my book, I'm Here God. Where Are You?, I changed my instagram handle to @katiefindsgod…mostly because that’s what I felt my book was about so it seemed to fit. It sounded good, like I would write and post about my encounters with God - how I find him in the ordinary and the extraordinary moments of life; how I find him in the challenges and heartaches as well as the joys; how I find him by turning mundane moments into magical ones. It sounded good….
But then I tried it, and it felt like too much pressure. What about the days when I didn’t really have anything to post? When I wasn’t finding God? Or when things really were just ordinary. Or, probably better yet, when I didn’t really want to be that vulnerable and share the magic I took from a situation. Or literally document every single magical moment of my life. Besides, I wanted to be able to break out of that mold sometimes too and post about other things. Other things like the regular moments…and Jiu Jitsu…and whatever else. Maybe something didn’t always have to have a lesson or something positive and uplifting attached to it. Maybe it could just BE.
So many variations of my name - of Katie Williamson - are taken. Then an idea hit me - what about @legitkatiewilliamson? It made me smile that special smile I get when something truly resonates. It felt all encompassing in a way @katiefindsgod wasn’t. A little bit of an edge. It felt more me; and it was unique. I liked it, so I changed it.
As the months went on, sometimes it made me feel like an imposter though. Like I only have 1,000 followers - who am I to add “legit” in front of my name, as though someone is trying to copy me? I thought it was original…and shortly after I changed it I saw someone famous already had it. “Did I just subconsciously see that and a few weeks later think it was my own idea?? That’s like the complete opposite of legit.” The doubts crept in. “Do people think that’s weird? That I’m too full of myself? Like who am I to need to convince anyone this is actually me when no one is trying to copy me… do they think it’s stupid?” In all reality - I knew it didn't matter what anyone else thought, and yet whenever anyone would ask me my instagram there was something deep inside that would hesitate when I'd say it, waiting for the person to react. How could I confidently move forward with my big dreams if something as simple as my instagram handle caused me so much internal struggle? Ughh it seemed like an uphill battle.
And then one day, it clicked. Personal and spiritual growth amazes me most of the time, to be honest. I guess it’s like Jiu Jitsu though, you get caught in something over and over and over and over again until you finally say “okay that’s enough, I’m going to figure this out.” So you start working on it, and still get caught in it over and over and over and over again. But if you keep trying and keep showing up and keep working on it and actually forget about “getting it” and just let it go and roll - one day it just clicks. You don’t get caught in it anymore. You hit the sweep on the first try. You actually get the submission. You don’t just learn it once and then you have it - it’s small, incremental changes and adjustments over time that all add up and make you one day look back and realize you’re finally at the top of that mountain; you made it.
The voices and doubts were getting quieter, but they were still there. Knowing the power of language, one morning I just decided - I’m getting so caught up about this, why don’t I look up what “legit” actually means and then move from there? So I googled it, and the first definition made me cringe. “No wonder I have so much resistance! ‘Conforming to the rules’ … that’s not what I want to live by at all!” And then my eyes fell to the second definition:
le·git // extremely good; genuine
That was it. My life, ME - is extremely good and genuine. What I share on my social media, what overflows from my heart here, is genuinely Katie Williamson. That’s it. That’s why it’s all encompassing, that’s why it resonated - and that’s why when I finally embrace this identity, the extreme good that is solely me - I feel it in my soul. That’s who I share in everything - every post, every story, every blog, every article. I’m sharing genuine Katie Williamson.
How do I describe the shift in my soul. It’s like embracing this identity allows me to show up in my fullness. Who is legit Katie Williamson? Extremely good and genuine Katie Williamson? Legit Katie Williamson is full of love, and grace, and hope, and faith. She is strong and genuine. She loves others deeply, and those who are fortunate to be (or have been) in her inner circle know what this means. She also gets offended sometimes and takes things personally, and has to be reminded to take a breath and slow down - that everything is going to be alright, that it's okay if she takes a rest. She’s discovering how deep and amazing her creativity and passions and gifts actually go, and she is incredibly good at whatever she sets her mind to. Equally so, she is incredibly stubborn, and if she doesn’t want to do something or doesn’t see the value or the endgame then she will either 1) only do what is required to still be considered good; or 2) forego it altogether. When she wants to be she is incredibly competitive, strategic, and disciplined to reach her goals, and she cheers others on who are striving to reach theirs too. Legit Katie Williamson has many friends, but only a few that she keeps close - and she absolutely thrives in relationships with complete trust, honesty, and loyalty - a partnership where each person always has the other person’s back, their best interests at heart, and is a true ride or die. Very few have made it there and stayed. Because of that, she has experienced loss, and pain, and heartache - and yet continues to choose love over bitterness everyday. She is beautiful beyond measure because her beauty goes so much deeper than the surface, it reaches the depths of her soul. Love and light pour out of her because that is who she is - who she has chosen to be over and over and over again. She has learned to love every piece of herself, which means she has also learned to love every piece of others…most of the time…she’s still a work in progress. She believes in the goodness of people, and the magic of God. And even though she will never want to admit it, deep down she’s a hopeless romantic still looking forward to the handsome man who’ll sweep her off her feet - and probably get more than he bargained for in return, in the best ways possible ;)
This barely scratches the surface, but this is the identity I walk in for 2020. Legit. My life is legit - extremely good, and genuine - because I am legit. This is me - Legit Katie Williamson. Welcome to my Life.