Updated: Sep 10, 2020
A little story about my Instagram handle....
After I wrote my book, I'm Here God. Where Are You?, I changed my instagram handle to @katiefindsgod…mostly because that’s what I felt my book was about so it seemed to fit. It sounded good, like I would write and post about my encounters with God - how I find him in the ordinary and the extraordinary moments of life; how I find him in the challenges and heartaches as well as the joys; how I find him by turning mundane moments into magical ones. It sounded good….
But then I tried it, and it felt like too much pressure. What about the days when I didn’t really have anything to post? When I wasn’t finding God? Or when things really were just ordinary. Or, probably better yet, when I didn’t really want to be that vulnerable and share the magic I took from a situation. Or literally document every single magical moment of my life. Besides, I wanted to be able to break out of that mold sometimes too and post about other things. Other things like the regular moments…and Jiu Jitsu…and whatever else. Maybe something didn’t always have to have a lesson or something positive and uplifting attached to it. Maybe it could just BE.
So many variations of my name - of Katie Williamson - are taken. Then an idea hit me - what about @legitkatiewilliamson? It made me smile that special smile I get when something truly resonates. It felt all encompassing in a way @katiefindsgod wasn’t. A little bit of an edge. It felt more me; and it was unique. I liked it, so I changed it.
As the months went on, sometimes it made me feel like an imposter though. Like I only have 1,000 followers - who am I to add “legit” in front of my name, as though someone is trying to copy me? I thought it was original…and shortly after I changed it I saw someone famous already had it. “Did I just subconsciously see that and a few weeks later think it was my own idea?? That’s like the complete opposite of legit.” The doubts crept in. “Do people think that’s weird? That I’m too full of myself? Like who am I to need to convince anyone this is actually me when no one is trying to copy me… do they think it’s stupid?” In all reality - I knew it didn't matter what anyone else thought, and yet whenever anyone would ask me my instagram there was something deep inside that would hesitate when I'd say it, waiting for the person to react. How could I confidently move forward with my big dreams if something as simple as my instagram handle caused me so much internal struggle? Ughh it seemed like an uphill battle.
And then one day, it clicked. Personal and spiritual growth amazes me most of the time, to be honest. I guess it’s like Jiu Jitsu though, you get caught in something over and over and over and over again until you finally say “okay that’s enough, I’m going to figure this out.” So you start working on it, and still get caught in it over and over and over and over again. But if you keep trying and keep showing up and keep working on it and actually forget about “getting it” and just let it go and roll - one day it just clicks. You don’t get caught in it anymore. You hit the sweep on the first try. You actually get the submission. You